Website by Danny Dena
		PREDICTABILITY HELPS CHILDREN DEAL WITH DISTANCE. Children of all ages need to have clear and exact understanding of how and when they will have that all-important contact with Mom or Dad. Separation hurts and when children don't know when they will see or hear from a parent it unnecessarily adds to their pain. Children who have no idea about the next Contact With 2 parent feel tremendous loss and grieving at the end of each contact with that parent. They truly worry they will never gee that parent again. Parents can reduce stress for children by telling them exactly what the schedule is for contacts with their far away parent. REFUSING TO LET CHILDREN BE WITH THEIR OTHER PARENT BACK-FIRES. When a parent interferes with the relationship between children and their other parent, it always backfires in time. This can be 23 Simple 29 showing displeasure when the other parent calls or sands something in the mail or belittling or bad mouthing the other parent or refusing to allow children contact with their other parent. Children who are cut off from a parent often imagine that parent is perfect and ideal. Children fantasize about how wonderful their lives would be if they were with their far away parent. It is usually better for children to have a realistic experience of their parents instead of a relationship they create entirely in their fantasies. Regardless of the reason for encouraging children not to love or be with their other parent, when children grow up they usually blame the home-base parent for the relationship they didn't get to have with their other parent. HOW CAN I ENCOURAGE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR OUR CHILDREN & THEIR OTHER PARENT? Parents can use the same ways they use to encourage a positive healthy relationship between children and their far away grandparents. For instance - speak positively about the other parent, fell children it's OK to love their other parent, help children look forward to being with their other parent, talk about their being with the other parent as safe and enjoyable, let children have photos of their far away parent, help them keep a scrapbook of the time with their far away parent, be happy and excited when children receive mail or photo's from their other parent, and make it possible for children to be at home during the time their other parent has arranged to telephone. Children are sensitive to how parents feel and believe they will hurt one parent if they enjoy being with their other parent. Parents help children by assuring them they deserve to feel good about their relationships with both parents! Reassure children that enjoying a good relationship with one parent doesn't take away from their relationship with the other parent. SPEND TIME WITH CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE WITH YOU. A common complaint from children who see a far away parent is that they spend more time with the stepparent and stepfamily thin they do with their Mom or Dad. Often children have been looking forward to this time and have all kinds of expectations about how they will spend the time with their Dad or Mom. Discuss ahead of time what will be happening and what children can expect when they will be with their far away parent. Children always cope better when they have predictability. Children treasure time alone with a parent they haven't seen for a while. Parents should include work, play and time alone with children when they are together. Plan some one-on-one time with each child!
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